Note to Self

Do not, under any circumstances, run with the partner shown below, ever, ever again.


This is Emily. Emily is a Jack Russell Terror. Er, Terrier. She belongs to my sister, Lisa, who is pregnant and sciatic, and didn't seem to mind trading the spaz dog for my two-year old for an hour while Emily took me for a run.

Emily is scared of cars, I think, or at least loud ones, so she veers widely away from the road when one comes towards her. This puts her right in the path of me, her walker. I am sure that the folks on Briarcliff road who witnessed the gymnastics involved in me navigating the sidewalks, crosswalks, fire hydrants and street signs with the Terror in tow were howling in laughter. The best part was when I got off the main roads and onto the side streets. There? There they have huge trees. Trees have squirrels. Emily LOVES her some squirrels. Enough that she will literally launch herself four feet in the air, on a diagonal, straight across my path, in hopes of snagging a squirrel; She continues to do this, even when the short, short lead i have her on snaps taught, gives her whiplash, and she gets that panicky look as she plunges to the ground, where she inevitably lands on her four freakish paws.

She then starts looking for the next victim. And the whole scenario repeats all over again.

What I didn't realize, in my frustration at running with the equivalent of a pissed off cat in a hatbox, is that my run would result in sore forearms. My arms got seriously tired.*

I can just see it now: The latest fitness craze in LA and NYC - Terrier Leading!

*Disclaimer: yes, there were moments when I thought the whole run would be a lot easier if I just let her run into traffic. I didn't. But I thought about it.